10 Rules to Follow at Tales of the Cocktail

beignets covered in a snowfall of powdered sugar

Tales of the Cocktail is anticipated, hot, and maniacally joyful. The event draws cocktail creatures of every ilk and creed to New Orleans for way too many days of imbibing and revelry. To be blunt, it’s deadly and awesome. Rad, even.

Last year I posted some lessons learned from Tales of the Cocktail. Some are worth repeating, but a new year brings new menacing decisions, so I offer these 10 rules to help guide your path should you choose to attend the liver-sacrificing event of the year.

  1. Do eat as many beignets as you can stuff in your gaping maw.
  2. Do not order an absinthe frappe if you find yourself at the Old Absinthe House past 1am. Or at least don’t order five of them.
  3. Do pack white shirts, lots of deodorant, and a hat. Also, wear lots of dresses. Even if you’re a guy. Seriously, you’ll thank me.
  4. Do not, by any means, consume anything that is bright red. Pat’s Hurricane, I’m talking to you.
  5. Do stop by anytime at the Mixo House, sponsored by the CSOWG, as the bar will be better than any in NOLA.
  6. Do not look to the left or to the right when walking down Bourbon Street, lest you be sucked into a cesspool of excellence.
  7. Do reference the Mixoloseum Twitter feed if you want to know where all the bloggers are at any given time. We understand this may be used in order to avoid us.
  8. Do get jambalaya from Coop’s Place.
  9. Do take every muddler you receive and give it to Paul Clarke.
  10. Do not, by any means, adhere to any rules or preconceptions you’ve brought with you.

What Rules Have I Missed?

Post additional rules in the comments!

Craig, Rick, Jay, Blair, and Seamus drinking delicious hurricanes

8 Responses to “10 Rules to Follow at Tales of the Cocktail”

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8 Comments to “ 10 Rules to Follow at Tales of the Cocktail”
  1. paranoid123No Gravatar says:

    I just got back from NOLA for Jazz Fest a couple of days ago, so they’re not ToC specific:

    1. Watch what you are stepping on when going down Bourbon Street and breath through your mouth.
    2. There’s a Mardi Gras museum upstairs from the French 75 Bar in Arnaud’s, it’s mostly dresses, but there are some interesting signed celebrity pictures. You can bring your cocktails with you (ask Chris Hannah first).
    3. The food in Cochon is not to be missed.
    4. The Museum of the American Cocktail is worth the $10 admission.

  2. Jay HepburnNo Gravatar says:

    You just had to dig out that awful photo didn’t you!

  3. CharNo Gravatar says:

    Wear open-toed shoes on Bourbon St at your own risk.
    Don’t touch the horses, even if they are very cute.
    Do not repeat restaurants, lest you miss out on the vast array that NOLA has to offer.
    Call me if you’re lost, at a loss for where to go, or just need a good lawyer. I just might know one.

  4. BonzoGalNo Gravatar says:

    – Take packets of powdered Gatorade with you and stay hydrated at all times. Even if you hate high-fructose-corn-syrup and neon coloring, Gatorade is your friend. Also stock your room with Advil, Alka-Seltzer, and Red Bull for medicinal purposes.

    – Eat po-boys at Mother’s. Especially the debris po-boy. Then go wash your face because it will be covered in delicious meat drippings.

    – Bring a muffaletta from Central Grocery on the airplane when you leave. Everyone else on the plane will be staring at you with envy as you eat half of it on the way home.

    – Take the streetcar out to Cooter Browns and have their raw oysters and nine-jillion types of beer.

    – Most important: post frequently on your blogs, Twitter, Facebook or whatever so I can live vicariously through you all!

  5. RockyNo Gravatar says:

    Don’t stop drinking in the middle of the day.
    Get an Ojen Frappe at Lucque
    Go to the liquor store the first day or else everything will be gone
    Make fun of Jamie Boudreau

  6. “Make fun of Jamie Boudreau”

    Wait…we’re only supposed to do this at Tales? I’m confused. I thought this was an every day activity pretty much everywhere.

  7. TiareNo Gravatar says:

    And i guess i`ll have to learn it all the hard way;-)


  8. […] tips on what to expect and what to pack, Tiare’s lessons,¬†and Kaiser Penguin’s 10 Rules to Follow at Tales. Is it your first time going to Tales too? In addition to Camper’s advice, here are some […]

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