Thought the Chartreuse Swizzle couldn’t be improved?
The Pineapple Juice
Make your own pineapple juice! Canned pineapple juice is a horrific, Reaver-like abomination not worthy of even your tipsiest patron. Bottled, “high-quality” pineapple juice is not much better. Do you use bottled lemon juice? Exactly. The creamy tang and brightness of fresh pineapple juice is incomparable.
Simply skin, core, and cut up a pineapple – don’t worry about getting every last eye or bit of core; you’ll be straining it and the nasty bits aren’t really that bitter. Use a juicer of some variety and strain. From my tests, pineapple juice should stay fresh if kept sealed in the refrigerator for at least two days. (Full credit goes to Tiare of A Mountain of Crushed Ice for convincing me of my ill-begotten ways when I used to use canned pineapple juice.)
Two years ago, casting cocktailian spells alongside the white wizard, Chris Stanley, we tossed a newt’s foot into our Chartreuse Swizzle in the form of 1/4oz of Wray and Nephew overproof rum. It was like we just cast Nailed-to-the-Sky on our potion – pure genius. I’ve not made it without JWray since.
Use at least a 16oz glass for this drink. You want way more crushed ice than you think you need. Your Chartreuse Swizle should be as cold as Stan Jones’ lifeless corpse.
The aroma of mint and nutmeg should herald each sip like a blaring rendition of “Heat of the Moment,” by Asia. You’re not going to be drinking what’s scattered on the ice at the top of the drink, so don’t hold back – go ahead and grate 1/8th of a whole nutmeg on top.
And the mint? Find the hugest sprig (or several) you can, and jam them deep into the glass. Put it right next to your straw so each time you pause to inhale from sucking the drink down you get a nose-strike of mint. Hell, wind it up your straw if you can. And don’t forget to delicately spank it ahead of time to release some of the oils.
Improved Chartreuse Swizzle
- 1 1/2oz green Chartreuse
- 1/4oz Wray and Nephew overproof rum
- 3/4oz lime juice
- 1oz pineapple juice
- 1/2oz falernum
- nutmeg and mint, for garnish
Swizzle all but the garnishes with the delicate force of a ballerina ice giant. Garnish like you’re an herb goddess.
- How many Chartreuse Swizzles did you consume this year?