[ed. Written by KP correspondent, Adam, who lives closer (by about 6 hours) to Forbidden Island than me.]
As I hope is apparent by now, we here at KP always strive for the very highest quality of ingredients when it comes to cocktails (revelations about my sordid past with Captain Morgan notwithstanding). With that in mind, I present the following scary story for your consideration:
It was a dark ‘n stormy night. Actually, it probably wasn’t, since the cocktail I was mixing out of Sippin’ Safari required me to use the last of my bottle of Monin’s passionfruit syrup. I buy Monin because “passionfruit concentrate” is fairly high up on the ingredient list, and gives a good flavor. The next day I stopped by the g-store to procure another bottle to tide me over until my next rendezvous with my Hawaiian contact, who can obtain for me delicious, fresh lilikoi. It was not until I got the bottle home that I perused the label. Imagine, gentle readers, my shock and dismay to see that the ingredient list was now utterly devoid of natural, life-giving passionfruit content, loaded instead with vile humours listed only as “passionfruit flavor” and “natural and artificial flavors.”
In my shock I messaged Rick, who immediately encouraged me to write the company, expressing my displeasure and demanding free products as compensation. I then pointed out to him that given the change in recipe, free product was not a desirable outcome. Nonetheless, I dashed a hasty pique-laden missive to the Moninites. A day later, I received the following, chilling response
Many thanks for your email. We duly noted your remark and are sorry about your decision to return back your bottle.
We sincerely hope you will keep a good image of our product in spite of artificial flavours.
Under better circumstances I tend to find broken English and Briticisms charming, but the soul-stupefying effect of this response could not have been greater had I awoken to find it writ in blood upon my bathroom mirror.
So henceforth I’m going to attempt making my own PF syrup. Has anyone out there tried this at home?